Carmageddon

Drivers everywhere are stupid¹. Drivers at 4:45 AM are a special kind of stupid.

Also at that time, regular driving rules don’t apply. Here are some things I learned this morning on my way to (4:45 AM) and from (5:15 AM) the airport:

• Speed limits only apply for the amount of time it takes the Police SUV that’s going 75 in a 50 to pass you.


• To merge, you don’t actually need to find space between cars in the next lane. They’ll move … or wish they had.


• Nobody actually passes in the passing lane (except the aforementioned Police SUV). You get into the passing lane to let drunk tailgaters pass you, rather than continue to let them ride their brakes 8 feet from your rear bumper.


• You don’t have to pay attention to the speed limit, only to the speed other cars are going. When someone tries to pass you, speed up significantly. When they give up an get behind you, slow down significantly. They like that.

(Titles I didn't use:
Driving Miss Dangerous
Driving with crazies
"On your right!")

¹ I'm looking at you, Boston and Utah.